Shoot me. In the eyes. With blinding acid. Every time I use yelp for more than just finding a location or business hours, I die a little inside. But, just when I thought I’d lost all hope, in comes Vanessa defending ramen with the fury of a thousand chopsticks:
Oh wait. Now I feel worse. You can find me at Rai Rai Ken using tears to salt my broth.
1- The Sniffer: You want your fruits ripe and your herbs fresh, I’m with you, but do you really have to treat this place like you’re in a doing a promo for a cooking show? When you spend 10 minutes smelling that peach, all I see is soft focus, sunshine lighting and a cheap piano version of a Kenny G ballad. What are you checking for that is taking so long? Are you making sure the only thing that touched the produce is the pee of a rare Himalayan caterpillar? Or that the sugar plum fairies didn’t mishandle that cilantro before they packed it in the delivery truck powered by unicorns. Do you need a minute alone with the melons? When smelling produce goes past the point of function, skips through pleasure and resembles arousal…it’s weird. Stop it. Continue reading